What Professor Are You Most Like?
by Hungarian Coat
Summary: Find out what darling instructor flows within your veins! Or... something like that.


Which Professor Are You Most Like?  
  
Disclaimer: No! Harry Potter is not mine! What, are you crazy or something? That's it, you're crazy, aren't you? Eww! Crazy! (JK Rowling owns it all)  
  
Note: Gah! This is NOT a poll! Not not not! It is a piece of comedic fiction depicting how certain Professors would react to situations! I could care less if you answer it or not...so... not a poll.  
  
Select a choice that best corresponds with you.  
  
1.) A student comes in five minutes late to class. You...  
  
a.) Take a point from their house and reprimand them for their mistake.  
  
b.) Make them stand in front of the class and recite the school motto backwards. Obviously they do not respect Hogwarts if they are ignoring the bells, and you believe learning the motto in every conceivable way is a good place to start. (and of course you take a hefty amount of points from their house)  
  
c.) Turn a blind eye to their arrival. They aren't too late, and you're sure they have a good reason to be.  
  
d.) Refuse to let them enter the room until they have provided solid proof that they are indeed a late student, and not a spy sent to sabotage your class.  
  
e.) Compliment them on such a flashy entrance, winking roguishly.  
  
  
  
2.) While in your office you overhear two passing students discussing their least favorite teachers. You seem to be at the top of their list. You react by...  
  
a.) Staying right in your office, stiffly continuing with your paperwork. It's none of your business anyhow, and you most likely just heard wrong.  
  
b.) Smiling and adding a check to your tally board.  
  
c.) Hurrying after the student, eager to right all wrongs. You try your best to make sure your students like you, and you're hurt and confused by this turnabout.  
  
d.) Biding your time. During the next class you drop a live Grindylow into said students backpack and laugh heartily when it proceeds to tear out the student's hair.  
  
e.) Vowing to fix this and gathering up the most charming pictures you possess of yourself. You'll demonstrate to them how there's simply nothing not to like about you!  
  
  
  
3.) During meals, you partake mostly in these foods...  
  
a.) Healthy items, such as salad, roast chicken with the skin removed, and a tall glass of milk. You only allow yourself dessert every other day, and resist temptations to splurge on celery sticks. Reserve at the dinner table builds character!  
  
b.) You're never very hungry. Maybe.. some olives or something. You like olives.  
  
c.) You eat heartily, but are always ready for dessert! Especially anything chocolate. You often are dismissed from the staff table when the chocolate frogs you're secretly munching on escape into other people's meals and leap into wine cups.  
  
d.) You have to be careful when dining! Anything could be poisoned. You test all of your food carefully before consumption, and also the food of those around you. You can't understand why they get so peeved with you. You're doing them a favor, after all. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!  
  
e.) Of course, you're used to only the most elaborately prepared meals, as you spent so much time traveling the world. In fact you insist on a different international product every night. Keeps the house elves on their toes! Tonight, Belgium Pancakes! Uhm... Belgium is in Australia, right?  
  
  
  
4.) One of your best students is beginning to fall behind in his/her studies. You...  
  
  
  
a.) Confront the student, voicing your concerns. You think that maybe they should cut-down on their extracurricular activities, so that they can concentrate on their classes better.  
  
b.) You don't have any 'best' students. They're all idiots.  
  
c.) Give them a little boost on their poor test grades and overlook their missed assignments. You trust them completely, and have faith that they'll get back on track.  
  
d.) Turn them into an armadillo and roll them lazily across your desk as you discuss how to counter an attack transfiguring. Perhaps they need more hands-on examples like this to help them focus.  
  
e.) Speak to them in private, warning them that good looks and charm can't get them every where. You studied hard in school; the dazzling smile was just an added bonus!  
  
  
  
5.) Your favorite color is...  
  
a.) Gold.  
  
b.) Black.  
  
c.) Most quiet colors.  
  
d.) Neon Yellow.  
  
e.) Lilac.  
  
  
  
6.) A spell goes wrong in your classroom and one of your students is rapidly melting. You...  
  
a.) Remain calm while maintaining order in the classroom. Madam Pomfrey is summoned promptly and the whole situation is remedied in minutes.  
  
b.) Berate the student irritably while he/she melts. They shouldn't have been using spells in -your- classroom anyway.  
  
c.) Hold the students drippy hand tenderly while a volunteer goes for help.  
  
d.) Mop the student up.  
  
e.) Panic and yell commands from atop your desk, where you're stationed to avoid getting student on your robes.  
  
  
  
7.) While correcting papers, you discover that two exams have exactly the same answers on them, down to the last word. You...  
  
a.) Confront the owners of the papers, and ask them to be truthful as to who copied who. If they don't fess up, you simply make them retake the exam, in separate rooms of course.  
  
  
  
b.) Corner the offenders and loom dangerously over them while demanding the cheater to step forward. If neither does (which is unlikely, as you are so very intimidating) you bring them down to your office and make them touch the items in your formaldehyde jars until one of them breaks. Pickled monkey paw, anyone?  
  
  
  
c.) Tell the students that you are very disappointed in whoever cheated, and that you may be forced to send an owl home to their parents. Your students love you too much to let the disappointment continue, and one of them confesses to the crime, sobbing ruefully. You smile kindly, tell them they're not in trouble, but they will be if it happens again, and send them back to class with a candy bar each.  
  
d.) Strap them to the walls of your office and throw poisonous slugs at them until one of them screams their apology. Dumb kids... Like you were really going to hit them?  
  
e.) *laughs* What clever children! How lucky they are to be psychically linked!  
  
  
  
8.) While refereeing a Quidditch match, one of the players suddenly begins to swerve out of control. Something is definitely wrong with their broom stick. You react by...  
  
a.) Calling an immediate time out, and demanding that the teams best flyers swoop in to remove the player from his/her broomstick.  
  
b.) Rolling your eyes exasperatedly and throwing the Quaffle at any suspicious fellows in turbans. It's not the first time you've assisted in a situation much like this, but it's definitely the last. Next time the bloody twerp is welcome to fall.  
  
c.) Diving in, executing a spectacular barrel roll in the process, and rescuing the frightened student yourself. He thanks you, and you are cherished forever by the victim's family and all of Hogwarts for being such a nice guy.  
  
d.) Canceling the Jinx you have on his/her broomstick. You suppose it really -isn't- a Dementor in disguise, like you initially thought.  
  
e.) Diving in, executing a spectacular barrel roll in the process, but hanging back just long enough so that someone else will get to him/her first. When questioned later as to what held you back, you explain that the wind was really strong that day, and you simply couldn't make it to him/her in time. But didn't you look spectacular in those referee robes?  
  
  
  
9.) A student is being teased during one of your lessons, and looks to be on the verge of tears. The offenders don't seem to realize how distraught the boy/girl is. You...  
  
a.) Drag the offenders into the hall and scold them sternly, reciting 'The Golden Rule' at least three times in your rant. You make sure they apologize, and take ten points from their respective house.  
  
  
  
b.) Join in. They are right, after all. The student DOES have absurdly large ears.  
  
  
  
c.) Hold the student after class, and tell him/her that it's okay to be different, and that no one has any reason to dislike you for it. The next day you have the three students meet, and apologize to one another, and are delighted to say that they are the best of friends to this day!  
  
d.) Stare at the offenders until they go quiet.  
  
e.) Give the teasers a coy look, shaking a finger at them. Just because the poor student has zero fashion sense, doesn't mean that he/she deserves ridicule! Why, even -you- were an ugly duckling once in your life! Wait... no you weren't.  
  
  
  
10.) Your motto is...  
  
a.) "Discipline makes the world go 'round. In an orderly fashion, of course."  
  
b.) "Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gargle. The majority, however, roll in the puddle of stupid."  
  
  
  
c.) "Forgive and forget, provided said offender has not been posing as a child's pet for 12 years to avoid persecution."  
  
d.) "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"  
  
e.) "NEVER wear a brown belt with black pants."  
  
  
  
  
  
~How do you rate?~  
  
Mostly a's: You're strict, but fair, and most students lend you a begrudging respect, if not awe, at your ability to handle most situations with adept experience and firm rule. You're a Professor McGonagall!  
  
Mostly b's: Congratulations, the average student hates you! You're strict, cruel and twisted, and presumably sallow skinned. Let's give a hand for... Professor Snape!  
  
Mostly c's: Aww, you're so nice! Intelligent, gentle, and kind, you're nearly everyone's idea of a perfect adult. Chocolate lovers rejoice, it's Professor Lupin!  
  
Mostly d's: You paranoid nut! You're intelligent, and wise, but your lack of trust for anything that moves, and bizarre teaching styles might give a lot of students mixed feelings about you. Without a doubt, a dead ringer for Professor "Mad-Eye" Moody.  
  
Mostly e's: Though charming, you really don't have much talent apart from the way you turn the world on with your smile. You might be a fraud, but you're damn good at it, and you know it! You're a Professor Lockhart!  
  
--  
  
Hey, review, please! It's not really a story, but I believe it's still considered fan fiction, as I was just testing out my ability to characterize certain professors! Tell me who you came out to be in your review, if you want. Thanks. ^_^  
  
-The Hungarian half. (but not really hungarian at all) 


End file.
